About 7 years ago this
was the question a doctor asked me after I had gotten my first ever and
hopefully last mammogram. The whole
matter was a bit peculiar and odd especially when I had my right chest (because
men have chest and women have breasts of course) pancaked between those two
sterile and cold metal plates. They
should find a way to warm those pups up, hopefully they have.
For a few months or so
I kept feeling this lump and having pains and after holding out as long as I
could, (I’m not the biggest fan of western medicine,) I called up the doc. No worries, nothing was found and the lump and
pain went away by the next month or so.
Oh yeah, I forgot to
give my answer to the first question.
No, never touched the stuff and never will.
The doctor basically
explained to me that they had found unnaturally high levels of testosterone in
my blood. I’m still neither exactly 100%
sure, nor worried about why I have this or even if I still have this, maybe
it’s just genetics or maybe eating unnatural amounts of delicious peanut butter
and bananas can give you unnatural amounts of cocaine like substances in your
blood. Ok, ok, I’m talking out of my you
know what with the second hypothesis, but it sounds logical to me :)
I’ve always felt like
I’ve got some sort of reality intensifying substance in my veins that gives me
cascading highs with a Ben Harper “Morning Yearning” buzz of joy, accompanied by
dark melancholic lows with a hint of Tom Waits “Drops of Poison.”
Christine thinks he
sounds like “Cookie Monster,” I hear unfiltered surreal reality. To each his own, I guess, but my own is
clearly better than her own.
Back to the
point. I don’t know how to do middle or
regular or ok. It’s sort of like I
always knew my first move out of Charlotte couldn’t land in the northern
hemisphere. I love finding myself in
situations where I’m over my head, finding a way out, and then putting myself back in
mix after a short lull, i.e. mountain
biking.
Being in our present
moment of life, this rhythm of mine has found even more ways to express
itself. When it’s good and it typically
is, it’s sublime.
Cherishing the
conversations I’ve had with my parents and friends back home...
Relishing the moments
with my Chilean family and community...
Making progress in the
business and ministry, which as we always say are one in the same...
Heading out into our
back yard, a.k.a Chile, to find another epic location or lunar landscape to set
up our tent...
And yet I can’t deny
the flip side as well.
Missing the embrace of
my family, my moms infinitely wise eyes & my pops’ strong, callous and loving
hands...
Feeling very much alone
in a world where I don’t catch on to the inside jokes or what’s funny, because
I grew up with Sanford & Son and they grew up with Chavo de 8...
Having to hit that
little red Skype defect that ends the conversation and reminds you of the
beauty and annoyance of time and space.
Feeling the dull void
of absence right below my rib cage and 1.25 inches inside of my torso as I follow
the traffic flowing left and down from the airport, where as 8 days before I’m
making that same motion but with butterflies of excitement filling that exact
space as we venture off with amazing friends to experience life together for a
bit...
I’m learning to
embrace both sides and not deny either the space they deserve.
With that in mind I’d
like to share a few pictures from some of those joyous highs (located in the photo gallery - click the lego camera on the right) because who wants
to see or take pictures of the other side of the coin? :)
Cocaine. Steroids.
Life.
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