Thursday, January 17, 2013

Cocaine. Steriods. Life.

“I know this might seem a bit strange, but have you ever or are you taking cocaine or steroids?”

About 7 years ago this was the question a doctor asked me after I had gotten my first ever and hopefully last mammogram.  The whole matter was a bit peculiar and odd especially when I had my right chest (because men have chest and women have breasts of course) pancaked between those two sterile and cold metal plates.  They should find a way to warm those pups up, hopefully they have.   

For a few months or so I kept feeling this lump and having pains and after holding out as long as I could, (I’m not the biggest fan of western medicine,) I called up the doc.  No worries, nothing was found and the lump and pain went away by the next month or so. 

Oh yeah, I forgot to give my answer to the first question.  No, never touched the stuff and never will. 

The doctor basically explained to me that they had found unnaturally high levels of testosterone in my blood.  I’m still neither exactly 100% sure, nor worried about why I have this or even if I still have this, maybe it’s just genetics or maybe eating unnatural amounts of delicious peanut butter and bananas can give you unnatural amounts of cocaine like substances in your blood.  Ok, ok, I’m talking out of my you know what with the second hypothesis, but it sounds logical to me :) 

I’ve always felt like I’ve got some sort of reality intensifying substance in my veins that gives me cascading highs with a Ben Harper “Morning Yearning” buzz of joy, accompanied by dark melancholic lows with a hint of Tom Waits “Drops of Poison.” 

Christine thinks he sounds like “Cookie Monster,” I hear unfiltered surreal reality.  To each his own, I guess, but my own is clearly better than her own.

Back to the point.  I don’t know how to do middle or regular or ok.  It’s sort of like I always knew my first move out of Charlotte couldn’t land in the northern hemisphere.  I love finding myself in situations where I’m over my head, finding a way out, and then putting myself back in mix after a short lull, i.e. mountain biking. 

Being in our present moment of life, this rhythm of mine has found even more ways to express itself.  When it’s good and it typically is, it’s sublime. 

Cherishing the conversations I’ve had with my parents and friends back home...

Relishing the moments with my Chilean family and community...

Making progress in the business and ministry, which as we always say are one in the same...

Heading out into our back yard, a.k.a Chile, to find another epic location or lunar landscape to set up our tent...

And yet I can’t deny the flip side as well.

Missing the embrace of my family, my moms infinitely wise eyes & my pops’ strong, callous and loving hands...

Feeling very much alone in a world where I don’t catch on to the inside jokes or what’s funny, because I grew up with Sanford & Son and they grew up with Chavo de 8...

Having to hit that little red Skype defect that ends the conversation and reminds you of the beauty and annoyance of time and space.   

Feeling the dull void of absence right below my rib cage and 1.25 inches inside of my torso as I follow the traffic flowing left and down from the airport, where as 8 days before I’m making that same motion but with butterflies of excitement filling that exact space as we venture off with amazing friends to experience life together for a bit...

I’m learning to embrace both sides and not deny either the space they deserve.

With that in mind I’d like to share a few pictures from some of those joyous highs (located in the photo gallery - click the lego camera on the right) because who wants to see or take pictures of the other side of the coin? :)

Cocaine.  Steroids.  Life. 

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Wow.

If you didn't catch our December video, let me recap a little bit-

When I started working with House of Hope this year, I really had the mindset of "oh, all this will take is a little organization and networking and a key point person to fundraise..."  I totally thought I would just step in, raise all this money for the ministry with my administrative skills, and we would move forward.

After the first month of my "fab" admin. skills, we not only failed to gain any new donors, but we actually lost the support of someone who had been supporting the ministry for years.

Needless to say, it was a good reminder that it is not, nor will it ever be, my skills that make the difference.  From the start, way before I was around, this ministry has been miraculously sustained by ways only God can orchestrate.  And I could not feel more humbled to be a witness in His work here.

We have made it by, very literally, month by month this entire year - only enough to sustain one teacher with a horrible minimal salary and absolutely no extra money for the most basic classroom supplies or even someone to clean the building.  And it's not that God wasn't showing up in those meager months - In various "random" (eh hmm... not so random) ways, He provided each month so that we could at least get by.

So we started praying and dreaming big.  We created a "dream" budget that included a second teacher so that we can invite more kids, someone to not only clean the building, but do it on a regular basis, monthly funds for school supplies and soccer balls, and even dreamed about field trips we could plan and other events throughout the year.  

In December, we still didn't have the funds to hire another teacher, (let alone reach our minimal monthly needs,) but we felt like God was saying start looking anyway, because it's going to come in.

And then we received commitments for MONTHLY support from some of our Chilean churches here.

And we were invited to make our first presentation at a local business to ask for donations.

And we were told that our coffee fundraiser in the States is projected to raise $8,000 for House of Hope.

And then, as if all of that weren't enough, we received a $10,000 donation just before the New Year, given specifically so that we can hire a second teacher...

What all of that totals up to is approximately $20,000... divided by 10 months = $2,000 a month... which is exactly what our "dream" budget requests!

God shows up in both the dream months and the meager.
God is good, all the time.

But this is just unreal to me.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing us to work alongside of You in this ministry.  Thank you for helping us to dream big so that You can be even more glorified.  Thank you for sustaining this ministry by uniting people in ways we could never do on our own.  Thank you for your grace, your provision, and your great, great love for us....