Monday, December 30, 2013

December Update - Becoming Poor

As it is for probably most of you, December is our busiest month of the year.  Ironically, when it should be a time of reflection and slowing down to meditate on the gift of Jesus, Tracey and I usually spend it resenting each overbooked weekend and complaining about too much activity, too much food, too much to get done in too little time...

We become stressed, angry, exhausted, impatient. 

We are distracted by to-do lists, gift-giving, over-celebrating, and trying not to look exhausted in pictures.  

The first day of the month we were supposed to run a half marathon.  8 hours before the race, Tracey got a really nasty stomach virus.  I was soon to follow, and sadly Lil' Man did later on.  We were knocked flat for DAYS, with our biggest weekend of 3 major events soon approaching in 4 short days.  And guess what?  The world moved on.  

Last week, about the time we would be editing our video (yes, this month is supposed to be a video...) our computer crashes.  We both get this look of 50% panic and 50% complete relief, because we know we don't have an option now of not being able to work on some things that just "had to get done..."  And you know what?  The world moved on again.  

While they are seemingly small and insignificant events, I find the timing of them to be anything but coincidental.  God is humorously reminding us to slow down.  He is reminding us of the things that are most important.  He is giving us perspective.

We could tell you of the many events that went on these past 2 months, show you pictures and videos, and we will at some point.  But not this month.

This is a time to slow down, to reflect, to remember what God has already done for us.    

God has been rocking my world on what solidarity with the poor looks like.  If you want to see what I mean by that, read our last blog post.

I just can't get over that Jesus chose to become poor with us.  That he chose to live in our world.  That he chose to give up everything.  And he did all of that for us.

Our prayer is that we would not forget to remember what's really important about Christmas - Not just in this month of December, but each day.  That we would not forget that this is the most extreme love the world has and will ever see.  And that we would not allow culture or consumerism steal this time of true celebration away from us. 




January Prayer Requests

1) To pursue Christ more intentionally  
2) Being wise with making technical/logistical changes to goEnglish 

3) Knowing how to best love people

Sunday, December 29, 2013

I Am the Rich, Young Ruler

There's a restlessness in me I can't ignore.

A doubt.  A deeper understanding.  A sadness because I don't want to do what I know I need to.

What does solidarity with the poor really look like?

I drive up to House of Hope in my car.  I know there is not another Subaru for kilometers from where I am now.  I make sure to leave nothing in it.  I am thankful for the alarm, and ashamed that I am so concerned over a possession that no one in this neighborhood could remotely afford. 

It's Sunday, and I am picking up the kids for church.

"Tia, your car is so bonito!  I like it!"  

They are amazed when I roll up their window from my seat as we get on the highway.  They look at Coen's carseat in the back, something so "necessary" that most of them have never seen up close.  I think of how many younger siblings they all have.


We live in such different worlds....

I sit across from Susi as we are planning out the month's events.  She tells me of her dream to study.  She wants to study social work, so that she can learn how to help our kids and their families.  She can enroll for classes next year, but she'd have to not work in the mornings.  With tears in her eyes, she asks me to pray for someone to help her pay the $180 a month it will take to study.  

Please don't ask me how much my undergrad cost.  

She tells me that since her son is in college now too, her $600/month paycheck won't be enough to pay for them both, as well as the monthly bills.

Please don't ask me how much we make each month.

We pray together.  She cries as she thanks me for all I do for this ministry, and she is so thankful for our friendship.  I am thankful, too.  But I can't help but think about all the parts of my life and my experiences I will probably never share with her.  Although she has never once, not even remotely judged me for having money or possessions, it leaves me sad to know that 

we live in such different worlds...  

We enter the classroom where the kids are playing.  Coen is a little over 3 months.  7 year old Claudia wants to hold him, touch him, love on him, and all I can think about is what if you have lice again?  

I wonder if I will ever let Coen play on the carpet, knowing where their shoes have been.

It's not that I don't love you guys, I'm just trying to protect my son.

In that instant I realize that I am trying to protect Coen from the things our kids here experience everyday.  I am shocked with the realization that my standards for my child are so much higher than the kids I "serve" here.  

Jesus didn't live in a different world.

When I used to read the story of the rich young ruler, I always came away happy.  Happy because I have never been "rich" according to U.S. standards.  Happy because I've never been controlled by the extent of my possessions or paycheck.  Happy because I "gave up so much" to become a missionary.

But could I give up everything I owned and give to the poor?  Could I sacrifice the safety and security of my family to live in the same world as the community I serve?  

And then I realize, I am that rich, young ruler.  I am walking away sad because I know that those are things I just won't do right now.

There is a sadness in me that understands what following Christ really means: following Him.  

Choosing sacrifice.

Choosing poverty.

Is it possible to choose these things??  Lord, I want to follow you.  Help me to choose these things the way you did.





  

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

November Update - 'Tis the Season

We are currently gearing up towards the one time of the year we really love and hate all at the same time!  With it being the end of the normal year as well as the academic year, it is a time filled with end of the parties, graduations, Christmas celebrations, for about every group of people you are remotely involved with.  We love it because it's a lot of celebrating. But we hate it because even too much of a good thing can still be too much :)  Let's just put it this way: The month of December is the only time of the year ever that Tracey actually gets sick of eating :)

We're not complaining, though.  We are thankful to have people to celebrate with and jobs that allow us to serve others in this holiday season.  It's a crazy time, but it's a crazy good time.

With that said, here is a summary of what's been keeping us active, inspired, and/or running around like crazy this month:


We are taking our House of Hope kids to church!  Three churches, actually.  We are taking them to our Chilean churches that support us financially to say thank you and have them pray for our kids.  It was this time last year I was gearing up for my 8+ weeks of public speaking, and this year I get to watch our Director, Susi, present our kids to these congregations.  I am again reminded of how much we need community in our lives.



The end of the Sunday School year is approaching.  A year of conversations, investment, craziness, organizing, planning, discipling, etc. is coming to an end.  My (Tracey here) kids are awesome and I don't want to see any of the graduating class go.  Typically there has always been that one kid who just drives you nuts, but all of our kids are just stinkin' awesome.  I'm going to miss them over the summer break.  Speaking of the summer break, it's going to be a lot of work and energy honing in on the things we've all learned through out the year. To me it's incredible necessary if we want to be "filled back" up, trained, equipped and in tune with a fresh vision for the year to come.   

We had our first job interview… as the interviewer!  We are in the process of bringing down our first teacher from the States to teach for goEnglish.  This is a huge answer to prayer!  God has provided a qualified candidate for us that seems to really share the vision we have for our business and how we want to serve the community through it.

An expanding business brings a lot of questions.  After a year and a half of business, we are reevaluating and learning from our mistakes in order to do the best job we can and keep us sane.  Bringing on employees now brings a whole new world to conquer, so we are doing some small business advising, rewriting some of our policies, and trying to learn everything we need to know about legally hiring employees in Chile.  While at times it seems overwhelming and super intimidating, we keep remembering that God has provided what we've needed for this business one step at a time, and we trust that this will be no different. 

I am graduating from Bible Institute.  I (Christine) took my last two classes this month from our Bible institute (seminary-like classes) and will graduate with a certificate of ministry next month. Tracey speaking, I on the other hand will not be graduating, no questions please, maybe sometime soon though.     

The end-of-the-year "paseo" is in 2 weeks!  This year we are taking all of Tracey's Sunday School kids, plus House of Hope kids, PLUS a short-term mission team of kids from the U.S. to our end of the year "outing."  We will swim, grill out, play soccer, and hang out all day.  We've never done this with a mixed-language group, or with House of Hope kids, or with an infant, so it should be a pretty memorable event. 


60 pieces of chicken will fit in that oven!

We have a mobile child.  It is unbelievable to see how quickly Coen changes and grows and learns new things!  This now includes crawling everywhere, climbing, "walking" along the side of the couch…  And he just loves every bit of it!  Especially going for things like the ironing board, doors that should have been shut, and anything that has a screen.


Who needs a play yard?

This guy!

I am trying to figure out how to get anything done during the day.  See previous paragraph.






We are running a half-marathon.  Next Sunday we will be running a half-marathon along the coast!  Should be a good time.  Christine has trained, I have not.  Sports are 95% mental right?


Nice weather for a long run


Happy Thanksgiving, Ya'll!


December Prayer Requests

1) Following God's vision for goEnglish, Sunday School, and House of Hope
2) Dedication in planning 
3) Patience and energy in the craziness of December

  

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Small Business Advisor? Anyone?

We are looking for someone stateside who knows some things about running a small business.  Things like financial planning, managing employers, creating policies for services, and really anything else that is included in running a small business that we haven't thought of :)

If you know anyone that has experience with this, or if the job "Small Business Advisor" actually exists, we would love to talk with you!  Please email us at thekeitts@gmail.com.

Thanks ya'll!
 

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Free Gym

So we just found this little gem and it is too good not to share!

If you don't have access, time, and/or money for a gym, this is a great alternative.  Or maybe even better.  A husband and wife team of personal trainers have created this website so that everyone can have access to free, quality workouts. 


There are a ton of full length workout videos, ranging in length, difficulty, and focus.  The way they format everything is really engaging and helpful.    

Hope you enjoy!


Friday, November 1, 2013

Keitt Update - October 2013

Disciples and Dependents


You know those moments when you look back and think, “Dang, I did exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do in that situation.” That was what ran through my head about a year and a half ago after our “Kid’s Day” celebration at the church. 

What’s “Kid’s Day?” 


Glad you asked.  It is a great/horrible idea similar to Father’s or Mother’s Day that easily morphs into a month long “celebration” of kids.  Buying, consuming and stressing on the part of adults and demanding and expecting on behalf of those delightful children. 

Am I a crotchety old fart or what?

My dislike of silly Hallmarks holidays is not the purpose of this blog, just one of those tangents that I couldn’t pass up. 

Obviously prior to the day, my intention was to redirect how we celebrated “kids” with the kids and hopefully give a new perspective to these yougins. 

But guess who, guess who, oh yes this guy, muwaa, Tracey Keitt was that guy in line two hours before church kicked off with a buggy full of snickers, pringles, chocolate bars and basically a diversified plethara of junk.  I pulled out a bunch of “tricks of the trade” of youth ministry activities, competitions and games out of the bag that I’d developed over my 5 or so years of working with youth.

And how’d it turn out, you ask? Without a hitch.  An entertaining, fun, high octane, sugar buzz and sugar crash kid’s day that they won’t forget easily.  I, on the other hand, wish it had never happened. 

Now the “how” I got myself in this sitiuation is the crux of what I’m trying to explain to you and change about how I lead Sunday School, my ministries in general, and the overall way I go about life.  Details are not necessary, but I basically took the reins of a situation where everyone else had dropped the ball, planned none of their parts, organized none of their responsibilities and decided to “save the day”... in some regards. 

In other words, I decided that allowing for my fellow Sunday School teachers to grow as disciples was not important.

“I’m sorry guys but I can’t give you the opportunity to feel the full weight of your actions or non-actions.”  “Let me save you guys them from an awkward and possibly shameful situation.”  “The kids lack of a precious kids day will cause too much pain.”

I treated them as dependents, a dependent who can easily grow accustomed to someone else coming behind them and tidying things up so that everything looks shiny and nice on the outside.

Disciples or dependents.

The vision I see with Sunday school in let’s say 5 or 10 years has nothing to do with me.  I should not be in the picture.  No one should be waiting on me or any other single person to pull it all together.  I invision teachers who have learned and grown through trials, success and failures.  Disciples who have passed through frustrating moments, who have heard as well as shared necessary and yet difficult criticism.  I see a team who really takes ownership of Sunday School as a whole and who invests in each individual kid as a person.

Yeah, it is easier to just fix it up and pat these guys on the back.  “No worries, it’s ok, you don’t have to be responsible, because I’ll always be here to keep you as dependent as possible on me.”


It’s hard work on everyone’s part to do this disciplining thing.  It’s not always pretty, people fail, get hurt, hurt others, but it’s so necessary.  It’s what a long term healthy organization, team and church needs.  It’s what I hope we’re doing now. 

Monday, October 21, 2013

I am an Immigrant

I am an immigrant.

I am not always understood when I have to speak to customer service on the phone about a bill.  I can't see her face, but I know she's rolling her eyes when I ask her to explain it one more time.  

I eat weird foods, and not at the normal times throughout the day.

I don't sit with a group of friends at church that I have known for years.  I recognize the comfort and camaraderie that results from those years, and I am so thankful to have known it once myself.  

I watch my son spend time with his grandparents through a computer screen.

I know the joys of paperwork like no native-born Chilean ever will.

I am thankful that my nationality is respected here.  And I feel bad when my friends make jokes or complain about Peruvians and Bolivians.  Just because they have come to live in a country with a stronger economy, doesn't mean they came to steal all your money.  And no, I'm not laughing at your joke.

I offend people by my cultural differences.  I don't know how.  But I'm sure I do.



I am an immigrant, and I am forever changed.

And if, one day, I should cease to hold this label as my own, I will remember.

I will remember that it is hard to live so far away from your family.

I will remember how badly I wanted to connect with people from another culture.

I will remember how much I hated the scrunched eyebrows and slight frown that really meant, "I have no idea what you just said."

I will remember how easy it is to feel outside of the group.  

I will remember how good is is to make new friends.

I will remember to be intentional about being kind, being inclusive, and welcoming to anyone who is on the "cultural outskirts" for any reason.

And I will be thankful for the opportunity to reach out to those who are living the life of an immigrant, as I once did.

   

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

3 Year Anniversary

This year we took advantage of our 5-day holiday weekend to celebrate our anniversary!

Yes, we were 6 months late.  
Our true anniversary this year was spent taking care of a 6-day-old and dropping my mom off at the airport.  

So we packed up the Subi with way more than we've ever packed for a 2 day trip and headed to Punta de Tralca, a small beach town about an hour and a half from our house.

It was a great weekend to celebrate our marriage and get some time away as a family.




(If you want to see more pictures, check out our album by clicking the lego camera on the right.)

Saturday, October 5, 2013

September Update - True Confessions

This morning as I thought about this blog, I thought about how good much better we have been this month at posting blogs.  And then I realized that we both completely forgot about the monthly update!  After 2 1/2 years of doing one every month, it took us both almost a week to realize we missed it.  Not sure how that happened, but I do find it terribly ironic considering the pre-chosen theme for this blog.

The Lord has kindly and very clearly revealed two realities to Tracey and I (separately) this last month.  They aren't pretty, but they're honest:

1) We don't pray for our ministries.  This is the truth, the ugly truth.  We are so deeply blessed to have a multitude of loved ones and strangers pray for us and our work here, and maybe that has somehow led us to act like ya'll do the praying and we do the "working."  Eeeeesh. That was ugly as soon as it hit the keyboard. And I'm sorry.  Not sorry I shared it, just he sorry it's the truth.  

What we do believe, however, is that prayer is the most important thing we can do in our work.  We believe it is not only necessary but essential to any progress in our ministry.  We believe that we (you and us) are a team, and that we need your prayers as much as we need us to pray for what we are doing.  

I don't know why we haven't been acting like we believe all of that.  

Undoubtedly, this ugly truth plays a large role in our second confession:

2) We believe we are responsible for the "successes" and "failures" of our ministries.   House of Hope is still in a rough place financially.  Our enrollment has declined.  We have been unable to involve businesses and churches this year like we wanted.  And now the municipality is threatening to take the building away from us.  

Tracey asked me this week if I thought the ministry would just have to shut down.  I told him that this ministry has been so close to being shut down so many times before, we might as well call it, "House of Hope, the ministry you just can't kill off."  But then my thoughts mostly shifted to myself: How embarrassing it would be for me that my primary ministry failed, that everything I have done with it for the last year and a half would have been in vain.  That I have people supporting me to do a work and then I have to tell them it's closed down.  That what I have done wasn't good enough.

Kind of like the one time I taught that sex class.  Although it was 3:00 in the morning, I did feel like the class of 40+ girls were effected by what I said.  One high school girl came up to me crying at the end and opened up to me about how her and her boyfriend wanted to stop sleeping together.  It was a wonderful time of prayer and honest sharing.  I felt so used by God!

And then she got pregnant a month later.  And I felt like a failure.  

On the other side of the spectrum, I can't deny the fact that when I look at the funds we have raised for House of Hope, part of me does think, "Man, what would this ministry do without me?  Where would we be if I hadn't done all those church presentations last fall?"

(Eeessshhh.  Do you see why I titled this "True Confessions"?!?  It's hard to admit these things to yourself, let alone type them and share them with the rest of the world...)

There is a constant temptation to steal God's glory when we see positive change in the work we do.  There is a nagging lie that says, "Good job today, look at what you accomplished."  Sometimes it's disguised by us giving God praise for the talents and abilities he has gifted us, when what that really means deep down is "Sure you gave me the ability, but I made it happen."

When the reality is:
It's never about me.  
The good, the bad, the everything. 

God has shown himself in amazing ways through House of Hope, people have stepped up and given tremendous amounts of support and many other random/miraculous things have occurred.  I'm just a part of a bigger picture.  I do the best that I can, but it's not because of my presence or my actions that keep this ministry alive.   

Just like that high school girl didn't get pregnant because my talk sucked.  

I cannot rely on the outcome of man-made goals created from a human perspective to add to or take away my confidence.  My value, in who I am and the work that I do, comes only from being His.  And whatever I do, the good, the bad, the everything, will always be for His glory.

What I can do, is do the best of my ability with the work he gives me each day and trust Him entirely with the outcomes.  I can make myself wholly available.  I can be obedient.  I can give Him all the credit because to him it is surely due.  And I can stay faithful to His calling for me above analyzing what I perceive to be my level of usefulness.

So there is it, people.  The good, the bad, and definitely the ugly.  The good news is that God's really great at convicting us in ways that make us want to change instead of feeling like total crap.  And as an added bonus, Tracey and I are completely on the same page! As everything, it's a process.  The important thing is that we are in it.  

It is good to confess.  It is good to repent.  It is good to grow.



October Prayer Requests

1) For us in this process of changing the way we see our ministries
2) That we can be disciplined to pray more for them
3)  Leadership to maintain this momentum that we have right now with Sunday School             


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Claiming the Gift

Why is it always so difficult to live in the present?

We have spent so much of the last year of our lives in places other than the present moment: Counting up and then down the weeks of pregnancy, counting down the days until our epic hiking trip with epic friends, waiting those eternal 13 days after Lil' Man's due date constantly wondering which moment would finally make us parents, counting down the days to when we get to see our familes and friends again...  and then afterwards, looking back at pictures and videos and remembering it all over.  

One more day of work this week.  Three more days till we get to celebrate our anniversary.  Possibly 4 more months until we can step on another international flight.  

There is such a tendency for me to turn to the future.  But I also love reminiscing about the past.  The other night, for example, when I couldn't sleep at 4am (p.s. Did you know that green tea actually does have caffeine?!?!)  I was trying to remember all of the names of the families that lived in the neighborhood where I grew up.  I love visiting places of my childhood, remembering moments from last year, last summer, college, high school, growing up, whenever.

It's not that these thoughts in themselves are bad; it is necessary to plan ahead, and it is appropriate to be thankful for things of the past and those yet to come.  But I have never been able to feel a deeper sense of gratitude than when I am choosing to stay in the present moment and experience it for what it is - 

When I can sit, utterly enthralled by a 5 month old - the way he moves, reacts, and changes miraculously every day...

Being so engaged in conversation that it is impossible to think of anything outside of it for the moment...

Feeling so profoundly grateful to be in a place, with the people I'm with, that I forget about everything I have to do when I get home...  

When I get lost in the past or future, I miss the moments that are given to me right now.  I also miss out on the gratitude that those new gifts evoke in me.  

I am grateful for the ability to remember and be thankful for the past, and to be excited and grateful for the future.  But I want to be more disciplined in experiencing and engaging my present.  For me, that looks like respecting, but not living by, my agenda.  It's being aware of each of my 5 senses wherever I am.  It's limiting my time looking at photo albums.  It's resisting the temptation to believe the lie that playing with Coen on a floor surrounded by dirty dishes, unwritten lesson plans, and an overflowing Inbox is "wasting time."

Living in the present, for me, is undoubtedly a discipline, but one I have found to be worth it. It's a gift we are all given, but one we must intentionally accept.

What does it look like for you?

       

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Not yet in the air (some odd weeks ago)

I would like this plane to never land, better yet for it to never kick in those engines to depart from this wet tarmac but obviously that is out of my hands. It's just that the present is so nicely situated between the past and the future. The past two weeks have been a blissful compilation of spending time with the lovely Reeve side of my life, more specifically new aunts, uncles, grandparents, great grandparents, great aunts, second cousins.  The incredible meals, runs by the river and brews are but second level in comparison to the people, but man were they good as well.

When you've got such limited time with those you love, there's a clarity about life that grips your throat, not to take your air away but to make sure that every molecule that passes is appreciated and savored. There is no complaining or rushing and worrying about a month, a week, a minute ahead.  It's avoided. I absolutely love the intentionality that it forces because what happily rises most at some point sadly descends, so as we glanced out on that filthy beautiful Ohio river and shared moments and words, I knew it wound end, I knew we would come back to earth. Undeniable horrible and yet wonderful.

Everything stays romanticized at this present non-take off state. The hugs, people and laughs can be imagined, can be anticipated, can be loved, the fall back down to earth can't begin since the the beginning hasn't engaged yet. Having tasted the weight of that fall two years ago and developed such deep longing for such a long time, you only wish to sit, romanticize, and imagine right here in this present, so finely located between past and future.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

July Update


It’s been more than a month since we started our most recent “live out of the suitcase” style of life.  I’d have to say it’s been my favorite of all the previous. 

The month started out with us moving all our stuff, and when I say all, I mean everything: commode, sinks, dogs and dressers, out of our old house and shoved away into a 10 by 8 room where they will joyously await our arrival back to Chile in mid August. (Well the dogs are hanging out at a sister church, we’re not that crazy.)  Let's not spend any more time talking about that day though…

Because of how sour the contract had gone with the house we got the awesome opportunity to invade our good friends’, the Dwyers, house, while they did soccer camps in the United States.  It was a wild two weeks of little sleep, well for the two grown adults in our gang.  And then Coen finally begin his amazing 9-11 hour of sleeping through the night routine.  Previously it was about 5-8, which isn’t all that bad, but it’s been huge having him sleep so well this month.  The keys to our house along with all the responsibilities and thoughts of, “Is that house finally empty?” were turned in on the 9th and we were flying on our way to the good ol’ US on the 11th.  All the romanticizing and expectations have been absolutely blown away, and I’m beyond ecstatic to be able to write that sentence in the lovely and ever so present tense, present continuous and not past.

The first two weeks we spent with Christine’s family and extended family, celebrating the jaw dropping 60th anniversary of her grandparents, being introduced to infinite infants, deliciously delectable dishes, voracious views and countless conversation.  I can now see why some pastors like alliteration so much, maybe I’ll apply this more often, maybe not. 

All in all, it was surreal in both a joyous and painful way.  We already miss Cincinnati with all its wonderful, amazing, lovely, caring and hospitable family and friends.  I’m not sure if life will ever again offer us a residence where there isn’t pain longing for another residence, and yet the intentionality with which we live when we do see loved ones and friends is something that I’m sure we were overlooking and did not respect before our move to the grand Chile. 

We touched down in my home town of Charlotte this past Saturday and I’ve been trying to hold my breath to slow down this blur of time.  ¿Why couldn’t we get a pause button once a year to just add another few hundred hours to a day? ¿Is that too much of a request? 

We knew Charlotte was going to be rough (schedule wise,) hopping from one lunch to the next house, to the next dinner, but over all it’s been very sane and so dang good and we’ve still got another 10 days or so!  There’s that lovely present continuous again J. 

I don’t know what else I should say.  I fear getting into details would both extend this little update to more than reader’s desires and prove words useless and superficial to describe the experiences that we’ve had the past 31 segments of 24 hours.

It’s been good, real good. 

Friday, June 14, 2013

Having Babies in a Foreign Land: A Birth Story

Part Two

It was a somber ride home from the hospital that day.  One of those “what the heck did we just do?!” moments where it’s best not to try and immediately find a solution.  Since it was already late afternoon, we decided to just relax (ha) for the rest of the night and start looking for another hospital and doctor the next day.  We were thankful to feel confident about making the right decision that day, but just had no idea how this would all turn out in the end. 

The next day we went to a natural birthing center a friend had recommended.  We almost immediately fell in love with the place and the two midwives that ran it.  They talked about being on the baby’s schedule, having to wait for him and not trust silly machines over nature, or rush babies because they are “late” according to a date no one can ever be completely sure of in the first place.  It was the first time that week that I didn’t feel guilty for not going into labor yet, and the first time ever that I felt 100% on the same page as my medical provider. 

I’ve never been gung-ho about drug-free labor.  To each his own, but if I would have had my first baby in the States, I would have tried to go without an epidural as long as possible but would have no shame in getting one if need be.  Choosing this birthing center meant changing that birth plan at 41 weeks, but after my pseudo-birth experience in a “we’ll pump you full of drugs and then give you a C-section” ambiance, I was willing to go the other extreme.

So we were really excited about our new plan.  For about an hour.  Then we found out how much it cost since it’s not under our insurance.  No go.

Plan B was to go to the 5 hospitals on our plan and basically beg a doctor to help us.  So we started at our same hospital; thankfully somebody had lied when they said we could never come back.  After explaining my situation to the receptionist, I could tell this was a first for them.  Thankfully for me, I was too fed up with this whole process to feel nervous or embarrassed about it.  So we sat down and waited.  A couple minutes later, a doctor walks out and I overhear the receptionist explaining our situation.  I can tell by the doctor’s face that she is just as confused as the receptionist was, so I go beg her offer to explain the situation myself.

After hearing us out, she agreed to not only stick with us for another next week but also do an ultrasound right then to make sure everything looked ok.  Which it did.  Lil’ Man and all his fluids were just perfect.  All we had to do now was wait. 

The next week was full of doing everything we’d ever read that could possibly induce labor.  We went on walks.  We drove around town looking for magic natural potions that tasted like dirt, and raspberry leaves to make tea.  We went on more walks.  We climbed a small mountain.  We walked to the store, bought a pineapple, came home, and I ate about half of it.  Did I mention we went on a lot of walks?

 At least we had time for more sight-seeing!

One of my walking buddies for the week 

 I hate papaya

Finally, at 41 weeks and 6 days, we agreed it was time, si o si, to meet him.  Since I was still not showing any signs of labor and Coen hadn’t even dropped yet, we scheduled an induction and knew that if it didn’t take this time, a caesarean it would be. 

 Finally - the last pregnant picture!

Thursday morning on the 28th, we checked into the hospital again and did the same routine as before.  We even got the same admissions lady, and various nurses that recognized us from the week before.  In a weird way, we kind of felt famous!  Ohhh those crazy Gringos… 

 Round 2 

Our new midwife, (here every doctor works with their own midwife, it’s a pretty cool system actually – The midwife stays with you throughout the whole time and the doctor comes for delivery) sat with us and actually explained everything that was going to happen.  This was a first; Tracey was convinced it was because everyone thought we would try to run out again, I think she’s just a really good midwife…  So we started the Pitocin and waited.  After about an hour and a half of contractions, she could tell that it wasn’t helping Coen move.  Instead of the contractions helping move him down, they were causing his heartrate to drop and then recover, only putting him in distress.  Once the doctor confirmed this, we felt at peace with stopping the induction.

From that point on, everything happened so fast.  There was an opening in one of the operating rooms, so we would be leaving within 10 minutes.  Tracey left to go change into scrubs and I was wheeled away to wait outside for the room to open up.

When they wheeled me in a few minutes later, I couldn’t help but think – Well this is exactly the opposite of how it is on Grey’s Anatomy.  It was a huge open room with white not-florescent-but-abnormally-bright lights.  There were about 10-12 people going in and out, and I was thankful to have my midwife’s familiar face with me the whole time.  As I helped myself onto the operating table, one of the nurses actually said, “Wow, you’re so tall, you barely fit on the table.  Excellent way to get this grande Gringa feeling confident about her first major surgery experience.

My midwife was explaining some things to me and next thing I knew the anethesiologist was introducing himself to me and explaining how the epidural block would work.  He was very nice, made sure I didn’t have any questions, and even complemented me on my Spanish.  I think he could tell I was nervous :) It was only a few minutes later he came back to have me lean forward and be very still, like you cannot move at all, while he stuck a giant needle into my spine.

It was in that moment, unfortunately for my pride, that my emotions decided to let loose.  All the thoughts seemed to flood my brain at once: of finally getting to meet our son, of mourning the birth experience I never got to have, of realizing how exposed and alone I was in that moment, of being surrounded by strangers.  I don’t know how I see all these facebook pictures of moms smiling horizontally with their surgery/shower caps on like this C-section thing is no big deal.  In an instant, with the prick of a needle, it completely overwhelmed me.

As I felt the effects of that needle start to make my legs tingle, they strapped my arms down and put a curtain up over my chest so I couldn’t see anything.  Tracey finally got to come in, and I actually had to look twice to make sure it was him, since I was looking at him upside-down and he was covered with scrubs and a mask.  I was glad he was there before they started operating.  I knew they couldn’t have started yet because I still felt like I could kind of feel my legs.  Much to my surprise, he told me they had already started.  Obviously, I couldn’t feel anything, except some movement/pulling.  I’ll spare you any more details about the actual surgery, but Tracey said it was crazy.

And then all of a sudden we hear “¡viene, viene!, he’s coming, he’s coming!”  and all I can think about is how unfair it is that everyone else can see him coming except for me.  With a final pull, surgeon #2 begins to hum the U.S. national anthem, (I am impressed and internally ashamed that I still couldn’t pick out the Chilean national anthem if I heard it,) and Tracey tells me he is here!  I begin to weep (not convenient to have your arms strapped down when you have snot running down your face) and after what seems like an eternity they bring this tiny, screaming blue baby around the curtain.

We finally meet.


As the surgeon held him to my cheek, someone let one arm go so I could touch his tiny face and head.  They asked for a name, Tracey and I nodded at each other, and he proceeded to spell out “Coen Tracey Keitt” because I'm sure none of those 3 names had ever been heard in that hospital. 




After a few more moments of enjoying our little family, they took him over to get him weighed, measured, cleaned off, and dressed.  His clothes were humorously too large (How do you pack for a newborn you’ve never met?!) but who cares.  Our long-awaited son was finally here with us, and although we have no idea what we’re doing as parents, we couldn’t be more excited to start learning with him.