Praying is Dangerous

I know most people would say they hate public speaking.  But I really can't describe to you how much I dread being up in front of people.

Perhaps a few illustrations would help.

In 7th grade I had a flute solo in our band concert.  Did I get through it?  No.  I was shaking so badly that the flute kept bouncing off my lips and I couldn't get a sound out of it.

In college, I declared my major as Elementary Education since, you know, I'd known I'd wanted to be a teacher since I was 6 years old.  I kid you not, when I saw that "Public Speaking" was a required course, I spent days trying to research other ways to enter education without having it as your major.  (Some of you might be thinking, isn't teaching the same as speaking in front of groups?  Absolutely not.  Teaching is interactive, and kids are ways more forgiving!)

Whenever I do have to speak, I count down the days like it's Christmas (except not in a good way.)  Every date mentioned falls into the category of "before the speech," or "after it's over."  Like, remember the sex talk?!  Good grief that was the most anxiety I have felt in a long time.    

I hope you get my point.

So about a month and a half ago, my most honest prayer was to actually learn to have God's confidence and not feel confident in my own ability.  I usually don't pray this prayer, because I know what it means.  It means I will have to do things I don't like to do, am not good at, and/or are way out of my comfort zone.  So even the ability to pray that prayer and mean it was a pretty big gift of grace on His part!  It's probably the first time in my life I've honestly wanted it.

And God is so funny.  I don't know why I'm always surprised... but it just happened so quickly!

Within that same week, I was given opportunities to speak in front of churches from 2 different people.  But here's the kicker - for 8 SUNDAYS IN A ROW!!

I guess He really wants me to learn this whole confidence in Him thing :)

So as of now, I have given the offering devotional once so far at our church, Oriente, and will be giving it again next month.

As for the rest, we are doing a "tour" of all of IAM's Santiago churches to show them our video for House of Hope and ask for their involvement and help with funding.  So far we have gone to 2 churches.  Here's a pic from last Sunday at La Farfana:

It's been freakin' awesome.  Because 1) I haven't died or had any panic attacks before or during the events, 2) it's so cool to see our other churches and how they are on Sunday mornings, and 3) it is such an encouragement to those of us working with House of Hope to feel like we're not alone in this.  And some people have already offered to be monthly sponsors and/or come in and visit the kids!  

So, praying is dangerous.  But it's also the only way to get things done.  

And for that I am thankful.

(I am also thankful for this little guy/girl, who is growing more and more visibly each day... Plus I thought I should give you guys a heads up so you're not totally surprised when I'm suddenly "really pregnant" in our next video :)