These last two days have been rough, and have given me some not-so-great nostalgia for being in the classroom. And immense appreciation for those who are.
Yesterday, a seventh grader asked me what "big" and "small" meant in her English class. It took everything in me not to say, "well, think back to PRESCHOOL when you were taught those words... Or if you can't remember that far back, just review what you've been doing in class for the last MONTH AND A HALF, since this is supposed to be review day for your test."
Today, as I broke up a fight between two kids, I was reminded of my infamous and overused phrase from my first 2 years of teaching:
"Are you kidding me?!?!"
This phrase is obviously only said as a think-aloud-form-of-therapy for a teacher that just has no idea what else to do :) I mean, who says that to a kid, let alone one too developmentally young to even understand sarcasm?!?
This girl.
Because, like so many times in my education career, I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do when there's no set expectations for behavior and kids run around like crazy. I don't know what to do when there's no culture for excellence in the classroom and kids are SO far academically from where they should be. I want to change the world one child at a time. But I have fought that fight, year after year, with seemingly every factor fighting against me. And I'm still tired.
They say teacher burn-out rates in inner-city public schools average between 3-5 years.
I.believe.it.
I am over a year out and still wonder if I am going to recover someday.
So teachers, if you started this week, or maybe you will the next, know that you have one huge admirer in South America!
(And if you knew me at all professionally in my first two years of teaching, God bless you and thank you for being my friend!)
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