How To Know You're Alive

 As I was waiting to go up on stage at church this morning, I couldn’t help but think about 1) how happy I am going to be when all these presentations are over, and 2) just how GOOD I’ve been feeling, despite the nerves brought on by public speaking.  Good is a pretty lame adjective, so better stated, how alive I’ve been feeling lately. 

And it makes sense.  Because if you’re alive, you have to be growing.   
It’s our nature.  The only things not growing are dead. 

I’ve realized how alive I’ve been feeling lately because of all these things I’ve been doing that are NOT my strengths and are definitely not comfortable for me.  AKA, these “growing experiences.”  Public speaking, yes, but also the whole living in your second culture and in general, living less comfortably than we could be.  Which made me think, what does comfort do for us, anyway, besides hinder growth?

You can’t get any smarter without reading books that are beyond the knowledge you already have.

You can’t gain muscle or lose weight without the pain of a good workout.

And you can’t learn to truly rely on God without hardships or struggles. 

I am thankful for the challenges He has given me these last few months, because it has also led me to places that I know I wouldn’t be able to be without His strength.  And it is GOOD to feel this alive!!

So my question for you is: What are you doing in your life that is forcing you to grow?  Or maybe, what unwarranted circumstances are you allowing God to turn into growing experiences for your good?

It can be as simple as a thought-provoking book or a challenging workout routine, we just have to make sure we are actually living.  Because if we’re not growing in one way or another, what are we even doing? 

And speaking of growing…

there’s been a lot more of THAT goin' on around here lately!

Here we are at 24 weeks when the Irish completed their 12-0 regular season to be #1!!  







 
And if kids grow like puppies, or at least like Boss, then we're really in for it.  We've had Boss man for about a month now and as you can see he is a great eater.  We love having two dogs!  They play together well and are super entertaining for us.  Except for the time he ate my favorite pair of Chacos, which was the opposite of entertaining.  It's a good thing he's so cute...

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Mental Worship

“I usually don’t get too many people crazy about this idea, but don’t you think that when we use our brain, thinking, pondering & contemplating, that we worship God just as much as when we’re singing “worship” songs in the church?  I truly believe that it is worship and you know what, I believe when we use our mind, thinking, pondering & contemplating secular matters we’re just as much worshiping God.  Seriously, are we not appreciating, respecting and acknowledging the beautiful masterpieces of the creativity of God?”

Our Biblical Institute professor shared this thought with us on Saturday and I couldn’t be in more agreement.  Why do we, followers of Christ, sell ourselves so short? 

Just read a few verses during the week, please guys. 

That's where the bar is set?

But what would happen if we scootch that bar up a few notches and strive to dive into “mental worship” with not only Biblical studies, but also the secular matters of all sorts.  Cultured Christians who yearn for a much wider appreciation of the Creator...  

thinking, pondering & contemplating.

Praying is Dangerous

I know most people would say they hate public speaking.  But I really can't describe to you how much I dread being up in front of people.

Perhaps a few illustrations would help.

In 7th grade I had a flute solo in our band concert.  Did I get through it?  No.  I was shaking so badly that the flute kept bouncing off my lips and I couldn't get a sound out of it.

In college, I declared my major as Elementary Education since, you know, I'd known I'd wanted to be a teacher since I was 6 years old.  I kid you not, when I saw that "Public Speaking" was a required course, I spent days trying to research other ways to enter education without having it as your major.  (Some of you might be thinking, isn't teaching the same as speaking in front of groups?  Absolutely not.  Teaching is interactive, and kids are ways more forgiving!)

Whenever I do have to speak, I count down the days like it's Christmas (except not in a good way.)  Every date mentioned falls into the category of "before the speech," or "after it's over."  Like, remember the sex talk?!  Good grief that was the most anxiety I have felt in a long time.    

I hope you get my point.

So about a month and a half ago, my most honest prayer was to actually learn to have God's confidence and not feel confident in my own ability.  I usually don't pray this prayer, because I know what it means.  It means I will have to do things I don't like to do, am not good at, and/or are way out of my comfort zone.  So even the ability to pray that prayer and mean it was a pretty big gift of grace on His part!  It's probably the first time in my life I've honestly wanted it.

And God is so funny.  I don't know why I'm always surprised... but it just happened so quickly!

Within that same week, I was given opportunities to speak in front of churches from 2 different people.  But here's the kicker - for 8 SUNDAYS IN A ROW!!

I guess He really wants me to learn this whole confidence in Him thing :)

So as of now, I have given the offering devotional once so far at our church, Oriente, and will be giving it again next month.

As for the rest, we are doing a "tour" of all of IAM's Santiago churches to show them our video for House of Hope and ask for their involvement and help with funding.  So far we have gone to 2 churches.  Here's a pic from last Sunday at La Farfana:

It's been freakin' awesome.  Because 1) I haven't died or had any panic attacks before or during the events, 2) it's so cool to see our other churches and how they are on Sunday mornings, and 3) it is such an encouragement to those of us working with House of Hope to feel like we're not alone in this.  And some people have already offered to be monthly sponsors and/or come in and visit the kids!  

So, praying is dangerous.  But it's also the only way to get things done.  

And for that I am thankful.

(I am also thankful for this little guy/girl, who is growing more and more visibly each day... Plus I thought I should give you guys a heads up so you're not totally surprised when I'm suddenly "really pregnant" in our next video :)

Keitt Update - October 2012

Keitt Update - September 2012

Rhythm

I've learned to appreciate the rhythms and limitations of life.

We, as modern sophisticated human beings, are just too sneaky and intelligent.  We seem to be doing everything possible to redirect, stretch and manipulate these rhythms and limitations so that we can finally reach our state of "satisfaction."

We work ourselves to the bone, fill ourselves to the brim with information (most of which flows from a system that perpetuates a perspective of "I'm never satisfied").  Rarely do we truly ponder, chew and digest ideas, while often we find ourselves with minds and stomachs crammed of chunks of meat hardly separated from the grizzle and bone.   And we wonder why we're never at peace, satisfied or content.

Ask my mom, my family, any close friends, better yet ask my wife, "Does Tracey actually taste what he vacuums through his mouth?"  "Nope, he doesn't give his poor taste buds a fighting chance."  But I do and it's delicious especially with some hot sauce on it...

...actually I should slow my meals down... a bit.

But the speed of my jaw isn't the big issue here although an area that I should think about.

I'm talking about time, rest, renewing and recreation.

I heard in a sermon once that recreation is two simple ideas; new, creation.  For my younger rugrat years this was a time in which the textbooks, pencils and work were put to the side and something different was pursued, or better yet something new was created.  Running around like a mad man on a playground.  In my too cool for school high school years this creation of newness was conversations, flirting, social interaction, etc.  In college it was educated pondering, reflection and debate because we're smarter of course! Ok, ok, yeah, it was basically just lofty conversations, flirting and social interaction.

The point:  I think there's a reason that a Creator would provide, develop or give his creation something.  It's quite probable that the Creator would know better than any other Joe Blow what they truly are in need of.   I see this so strongly in Sabbath and I've...we've really felt the goodness of this.

Christine and I have made a mess of some things, but Sabbath is one of our patterns of marriage that makes me proud.  We can both literally feel the excited anticipation of Sabbath, the lowered heart rate and kindled mind through out the day, and come Monday we're charged and ready to go.

It's almost like the rhythm of

                                            WORK
                                            WORK
                                            WORK
                                            WORK
                                            WORK
                                            WORK
+ BOOKS, BOARD GAMES & SUN
              PEACE & SATISFACTION

I've even found this to be true within our work days.  Even the secular world would agree, check out this article I stumbled across.

So why people, why, do we fight the rhythms and limitations of life?  We should bust our tails when we work and yet swan dive like flippin' Pocahontas into the reserved rhythmic periods of rest.

Oh and one more thing, we did this in the States, brought it here and we hope to continue as our numbers grow to 3 (sorry Osita, 4).   Put it this way, I see just as many pastors, missionaries and churchy folk running around like crazy people as the business world... you tell me what that means.

May your life be filled with strenuous work, purposeful rest and intense REcreation.

Entirely His

A missionary is someone who does full time ministry in a foreign country.

A missionary is someone who raises his or her own financial support.

A missionary is someone who is sent by the church to do “God’s work.”

The word “missionary,” or rather the connotation our culture has assigned it, really bothers me.  To the point that I usually don’t even call myself one, although our lives do reflect all 3 previous statements.

It bothers me because it is exclusive to a believer’s circumstance instead of the transformed heart that comes from knowing Christ.  (Just like the word “ministry.”  How did we change that word into an occupation in today’s eyes?  Did I really not start doing “ministry” until I traded in my paycheck for support letters?!  Perhaps this is an entirely separate blog...)

But the other day, I found such clarity to the term.  Good ole’ Oswald writes about what it means to be “entirely His.”  He says:

“A missionary is someone whom the Holy Spirit has brought about this realization:

‘You are not your own” (1 Corinthians 6:19).

And it’s that simple.  You don’t have to move to another country, you don’t have to change occupations, you don’t have to change anything about your circumstances, you just have to be entirely His.  All the time, every day, in spite of circumstance.  Which means you have to be available to whatever changes He has for you and trust that He knows best, despite your own discomfort and pain.  

He continues to write about Jesus telling His disciples that they cannot be His disciples if they don’t hate their mother, brother, spouse, children, life…  I’ve loved Jesus for a long time, but this is a verse that I just never understood.  We’re supposed to love everyone... and then hate everyone?    

Oswald points out that it is not a matter of being saved, it’s a matter of being wholly available to God, being entirely “His.”  If we belong to those around us, we can’t belong to Him.

Which was a huge "ah haaaa" moment for me.

Maybe I am a “missionary” more for my own sake than for the people of Chile.  Maybe God knew that I wouldn’t be able to live my life in the States and willingly sacrifice the things that come between us. Maybe the things I have been mourning and missing are the things that would have kept me from being entirely His if I actually had them.

Because I struggle with the fact that I don’t see my family anymore.  I struggle with knowing our child isn’t going to live a car ride/reasonably priced plane ride away from his/her grandparents.  I struggle with the reality that we don’t have close friends in the same country.  I struggle with knowing that I’m never going to "fit in" again in whatever country we end up living.

And they are indeed painful things.  But didn’t He say it would be painful?

Before Tracey and I got married I told him that we could not keep any sweets in the house.  (He thought I was kidding, I said ask any of my ex-roomates…  He asked if we could get a lock box; I said no, obviously I will figure out how to get inside…) I have discipline in a lot of areas in my life, but binging on sweet things is not one of them.  I know myself.  I know my tendencies.  And I know my weaknesses.

My relationships with the people I love have often kept me from being entirely His.  Which is why that verse has bothered me so much, which is what God knew about me way before I realized it on my own.  He knows me.  He knows my tendencies.  He knows my weaknesses.

And He wants what’s best for me.

It doesn’t make the mourning any easier, but it does make it sacred.  What I see as pain and loss, God has revealed as merely an answer to a prayer I made a long time ago:

To be entirely HIS.